#jsut like sweet pool..

[mallach]

did finally finish saya no uta. ohhhhhhhh my goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

[avatar-anna]

I just KNOW that young dad h is just the KING OF BIRTHDAYS! I would love to see like what he does on birthdays and it’s something big and y/n jsut stands in the back like “what did you do?”

a comprehensive list of things that y/n has said to harry before, during, and after a birthday:

"Really? And who's gonna clean up after the unicorn? Because it certainly won't be me."

"What possessed you to make a bubble bath out of the pool?!"

"No, H, just because Julian likes Manchester United does not mean you have to rent out the entire stadium for his birthday party."

"The cake is bigger than our daughter!"

"What does a few people mean?"

"I said bouncy castle! Not a real castle!"

"We do not need the actual Avengers to come to the twins' part. Chris is more than welcome to come as Chris."

"Tell Louis if he wants to be invited he has to stop bringing live animals as birthday presents."

"You brought...the Bippidi Boppity Boutique...to our house?

"Do I even want to know what you have planned for her sweet sixteen?"

[secretboggy]

my thoughts on the hc that regulus loved water before the cave

ok so first i love this hc its jsut so perfect in every way, like it feels like such good characterization on its own but then you add the angst and it’s even better

the first thing reg did when he would come home for the holidays, religiously, was draw himself a steaming bath in one of the opulent tubs in grimauld place. he fills the room with clouds of steam and the sweet smells of the bubbles and salts he would add. relaxing in the safety and comfort of the bath, behind the locked door to keep his family away for a moment, and with his current read, regulus found the quiet safety he craved.

when, as was expected by his parents, he became a prefect he found some of that same safety in the prefect’s bathroom with its abundance of pools and tubs and warm water. creeping down the deserted halls late at night when the rest of the castle was fast asleep became his secret act of disobedience.

as the war drew closer, as his world crumbled around him, regulus once again found his single moment of reprieve locked in the bathroom of that house. trying to enjoy being truly clean for the last time before he would be summoned to await the dark lord.

so when he was gasping for breath, sobbing at the sandpaper in his throat as hundreds of hands clawed him down into the depths, he had a brief moment of peace. a moment when the water surrounding him was not icy cold but warm. when the feeling in his chest at being submerged was not panic but peace. as his lungs gave out, his mind gave him one last moment of comfort in the waters he so desperately loved. even as those waters cascaded down his lungs and claimed him forever.

[little-critters-snips]

THIS IS FOR ANON!!!! WHO COULDNT GET TO ME ON THIS BLOG AND HAD TO GO TO MY MAIN FOR THE ASK. (I honeslty forgot my apologies you can now ask questions with anon on)

THANK U SO MUCH I AM IN TEARS thank u ive tried so hard them well im so happy you like them guhghgh.......TEARS. i actually have quite a lot planned in drawings and """""""""jokes""""""""" so yea expect more to come.

also weed smoker catnap lives rent free in my head i swear, and hoppy is GREEN like WEED GREEN. IM SO GLAD YO LIKED MY JOKE ARGHG.....yes, make a fanfic, make them barely functional teen-barely adults please pleaseee. hehehe i love that you find comics and art inspiring hehe

honestly catnap is based off a few experiences ive had with friends lol. but yes, dogday asks himself everyday what the FUCK is wrong with his best friend.

AND BOBBY WAS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT TO DRAW THIS IS SO SWEET. ALSO THEY ARE GIRLFRIENDS!!!! i know bc iSAW THEM KISS!!!!!

yES. EMO DOGDAY. i LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS HEADCANON TO MYSELF AND I CAN FINALLY JUST.......TALK. he would be such a teenage dirtbag he also still listens to my chemical romance religiously, also i didnt actually show anything but teenage catnap has braces and exclusively listened to vocaloid................... catnap and dogday being childhood bestfriends is a dynamic i hold close to my heart. !!!

dogday would die for catnap. dogday would also not give a sinlge dorito to catnap. it the BROMANCE. its "dude you are so beautiful you outshine the morning sunrise" and then catnap tries to drown dogday in a pool for a ""PRANK"".

thank you so much you are incredibly sweet!! i actually love when people ask for more content!! so excited you like it i was sure i was going to be posting for me and me alone honestly but seeing people enjoy what i draw??????????????? i am literally jumping up and down LMAO

i am actually starting classes soon and i have to prepare to postulate to art school and shit. but, i do asure you that ill keep making content hehehe even if a few doodles, i just really love these characters. if you have any ideas or make a fanfic i would love to read it and even draw some scenes!!!! i jsut really want to participate in this fandom LOL

you are so kind to me! you have a wonderful day too!!!

[silversatin2105]

uh- i feel embarrassed to ask but- can you do a match-up?? kinda interested i am straight pronounce She/Her Age: 15/16 Personality: i like taking care of kids, i can be very picky depending on the day, i like baking and cooking, i like cats, especially black munchkin cats, i draw, make bio's for my oc's, you'd see me everyday at least drawing 3 drawings full to the brim, i love plushies, i can be extremely jealous, but i don't get angry or make any outbursts, i'm very affectionate but very shy to show any, i care for my family and i'd cook with my mom, can be very childish, i like to go out and maybe do some shopping, i love LOVE playing volleyball and going tot he pool, my favorite food to make is spaghetti squid, which is just like normal spaghetti but there are slices of sausage in a form of a squid, i love to watch anime on quiet days or when i'm bored, mainly like to watch 90's anime or jut old anime's like Ohshc and HxH and sakura the cardcaptor, stuff like that, on a daily basis you'd find me listening to music, i like pop, rock and indie music, my favorite artists are laufey, beabadoobee, lyn lapid and Grentperez, and grimes, on negative days, i look in the mirror a lot and look at every flaw, but i mainly drown myself in music until i feel better, and after i start romanticizing flaws in my appearance and if i still don't like it i ask if i am pretty to be reassured, i love extreme tempurature's mainly the cold, i'm delulu and a hopeless romantic Style: i love long skirt's also because i've worn them since i was young and never worn pants nor to plan to, not due to insecurity but jsut because its uncomfortable for me-, i love oversized jackets, i like to wear puff-sleeves, really just like lady-like stuff, cottagecore. royaltycore, ligh/dark academia styles, i have straight black hair that reaches to my back, i have very faint freckles and a dot on the right side of my face next to my eye, i'm a light bold peach color on the lighter side, i'm half mexican and i like flower patterns, i LOVE LOVE sweet scents like strawberry and vanilla scent's all the sweet fruity scents, i love matching outfits that match the seasons, i love lacy socks and dresses smol traits i have or do: when i meet new poeple to stars a conversation to lighten a mood or say something funny i say "so how are your taxes going" because it'd be funny to ask it out of no where, when i like someone i'd be looking at them, or asking about they're family to get to know them and i'd be very awkward tot he point, i fi get a chance to talk i'd talk a lot and them stop and it'd be dead quiet awkward, if i see a motorcycle i'd look to the side of the bike and see which brand it is, i LOVE sports cars, i want to get one:)) i admire design, and plan to be an architecture a landscape designer and an interior designer, i love sleep over's anyone who is a true friend, i'd cherish and i'd buy gift's for them out of nowhere (got betrayed by their ex-bestfriend and is still coping since it happened the ending of the year before) gets excited when mention going camping i hope i did well, this is my first time doing this kind of thing on a personal level:)) you don't have to do this request,t hank you for your time!!

Hi

Sorry for the delayed response, I had to think on this one deeply and as a result I fell into procrastinating but anyway lets get into the match up

Your Match is

Takashi Mitsuya:

He and you share the trait taking care of children as he looks after his siblings, I could imagine you helping him make the evening meal at some points during the week

Your love of plushes would lead to him from time to time sewing you cat shaped plushes especially after seeing you bothered by something.

He would assure you that you are perfect in your own way by reminding you to stay true to yourself

Your varied clothing styles such as cottagecore, royaltlycore exc leads him into many nights of creativity as he would make sure you had custom outfits that echoed your personality, He even looked into a way of incorporating your favourite scents into the outfits IE Strawberries and the like

He may be a member of a gang and that entails owning a motorcycle so it makes him happy that you automatically knew the brand of his bike.

Your aspirations of going into design align well and I could imagine you both running a shared pinterest mood board of his clothing designs and your interior decorating designs

In summary:

I have chosen Mitsuya for you on the grounds of you both being very creative, the fact that you are family oriented plays into this paring too as I could imagine you being like a sister to his siblings, I also imagine you helping out with evening meals.

I hope this result is to your liking

Toman Inquisitorial division member Silver

Warning:

Please do not remove original tags in Re-blogs, don’t re-post anywhere else or alter the original work.

[moonchildstyles]

okay but pretty girl staying at h’s house in the summer when he has work and she has the day off, and she spends the day tanning in the backyard and when h comes home he sees her on her stomach in a little pink bathing suit on one of his big beach towels and he just 🥹😍😍 so he makes her up a little snack maybe some watermelon or some strawberries and gets a glass of water for her and comes out in just his shorts and she opens her eyes when she hears the door open and her little pouty face from being squished against the towel just lights up like h!!! you’re home!!!:) and he could just melt because home 🥺 and she sits up as he comes to sit next to her on the towel checking in on her asking her how long she’s been in the sun, if she’s been staying hydrated, if she reapplied her sunscreen etc and she’s just smiley and nodding to his questions and he gives her the bowl of fruit and he’s just so in love :(( that his pretty girl was at his house sunbathing while he worked and he loves that he could see her through the window as soon as he got home and now he’s with her again :( and he’s a little touchy, trailing his fingers over her skin while she munches on some watermelon and he feels how hot her skin is like maybe we should go inside soon? and she just nods bc if she’s being honest she’s been out a bit too long and is starting to get a tiny headache, and while he’s picking up all her things to bring inside, she mentions that maybe he could get a pool, just a little one!!! so that she can float around and stay cool while enjoying the sun and ofc he’s gonna say yes to that and the next time she comes over there’s a pool, bigger than she expected, and a few cute little floaties that she can lounge on and she’s like :((( I didn’t think you’d actually get one for me :(( and he’s like ??? cause why would he miss out on the opportunity to have his girl swimming around whenever she wants and he’s gonna give her anything she wants and it’s too chilly to swim in it now but the next time she stays over, it’s the same thing but now he comes home to her perched in the middle of one of the larger pink chair floaties he got, reading a book she found in his room and he wastes no time before getting in his trunks and hopping in the pool, resting his chin on his hands on the floaty like :)) hi pretty, how’s the read? and she just puts the book down and leans over to kiss him and they talk for a little while before he’s slowly inching her off of the floatie and into the water and it’s too late before she realizes what’s happening and she falls into the water but into h’s arms and she’s like :( hey :( but he’s all smiley saying that it felt like she was getting too hot again and maybe they splash and swim around for a bit until it’s past the time they should’ve eaten so they get out and all cleaned up and packed into his car to get something quick to eat and they end up at a little ice cream shop because she needs ice cream!!! and they spend the rest of the evening just talking about their days and maybe they watch the sunset from the hood of his car and he’s just never been happier :(

I literally :((( don't even know what to add to this its so prosecco and sweet:( his summer girl:( she doesn't always feel comfortable to lay out and play in the pool at the one at her apartment complex so she lovessssss that h lets her lay out like that at his house where she has all her privacy:( and he loves finding her bikinis in his laundry and ofc finding her out in the backyard w her little book and sunglasses and shes so warm and pliant from the sun and :( and I LOVE the idea of him getting her a little pool tp play in and getting in w her and them jsut :( having their little moment together in the water kissing and cooling down and h is finally getting to relax after work:( BUT OMG :(((( HIM TAKING HER OUT FOR ICE CREAM AND THEIR HAIR IS STILL WET FROM THEIR SHOWER AND SITTING ON THE HOOD OF HIS CAR JSUT :(((((( literally going to start crying this is so sweet

[the-highlander]

This is not my idea...

Caelan was an only child, and happy for it. He had been loved and spoiled by his parents, brought up learning how to run Leoch. He'd participated in the games every year since he was a boy, starting with the Hill race, and continuing until he was eventually able to participate in the Caber toss. He was very athletically inclined, but his mother had been sure to expand his horizons beyond brute strength, encouraging him to develop talents such as basic sewing, for if he was away and torn his shirt or something, and music. The music he'd picked up easily and happily.

His parents had become friends, somehow, with an affluent English family. His father never explained how, but there they were. And they'd gone to England when he was 7 to see them and meet their new baby. And...Caelan had come away with a wife and a newfound distaste for English sweets. He would be wed to their daughter when she turned 18. And so, they visited every few years. First when they were betrothed when she was a baby, then again when she was 5 and he was twelve, an age where he didn't want anything to do with her. It'd been a summer at the beach. He hadn't exactly been nice, and had pushed her into the water, running away cackling while she sat there in the sand. The last had been when he was 17. The highland games...he'd been seeing a girl who was unhappy with the child following them around like a duckling. But he'd swept her up, making sure she could see every event that he wasn't in. And when he was in an event, he would situate her right at the front with one of his friends, who would take their turn with her on their shoulders until he finished and took her back. Back then, despite her age, it was jsut nice to have a friend who didn't expect anything from him. The next year, his mother passed. She got sick in the winter, and by spring, she was gone. They had mourned for her, the tenants of the area traveling to pay their respects to the Laird and his son. He hadn't seen Clara since that year before. The mourning process just didn't allow the time to visit them, and they hadn't had the time to visit, though they'd sent their condolences.

The year after, Caelan had taken a walk and water hit over the head with something hard. He'd woken in a stone room, feeling dampness on the back of his head from where he'd bled a little from the hit. They'd decided to ransom him. And they were well hidden, keeping him squirreled away for what felt like months. he'd angered them one night, somehow getting one down on the ground and beating him nearly to death. So, they'd taken the chains around his wrists and secured him to a post before starting to lash him. When they were finished, they wiped the blood off with a rag from the floor, and left him there. When they unhooked the chains finally, a day later, he tried to escape again, this time smacking a man in the face with his chains, breaking his nose. This time, they chained him again and this time, he felt the handle of the set of whips press into his back, making him bite hard into his lip, not wanting to give the satisfaction of pain to them. Then they hit him. Once, twice, three times...he held in his screams, though he was barely able to stand eventually, feeling his ankle turn in on itself as he slipped in the blood that was streaming from his back. As he'd lost consciousness, he could feel skin peeling from his back. When he came to, he was laying on the round in a pool of blood, his back burning. He'd somehow gotten to his feet. They'd removed his chains, and he was sure it was because they thought he couldn't run now. But he got his hands on two swords, and had gutted four before the other realized, and he fought his way out, killing each man. He'd been found by one of his friends, laying in the tall grass on the banks of the loch, where he'd tried to clean the blood. It took months to recover, and some nights he still had nightmares about it.

He was to finally see his bride-to-be again. She was reaching that age...or perhaps she was already there...he couldn't recall. But his father had said she was meant to be there to see them. So he accompanied him and the rest of the party to the docs. It was a crisp autumn morning, and he'd worn a warm coat with his kilt, and thick socks under his boots, though his red curls were untamable. He stood beside his father, resting his hand on the pommel of his sword, joking with Fergus as they waited, his father clearing his throat when the gangplank was set up and the servants began unloading. "You think she's grown at all?" Fergus teased. "I'm sure...wee lass couldn't be small forever." "I don't mean that. I mean..." he brought his hands up to his chest, cupping imaginary breasts. "Fergus." he snorted and shoved him, the darker haired smirking and crossing his arms, watching for his friend's bride.

[komaedasimagines]

*slides you $100* maybe some HCs for Tsumugi, Aoi, Chiaki, and Miu traveling to the U.S. to see their male S/O (Sorry if this isn’t great)

Tsumugi

Tsumugi has heard So Much about America through her Extensive Anime Watching Experience and she is thrilled to finally see it in person

(and of course like, see her boyfriend too but. she Will see the sights.)

She’s, to be honest, a little disappointed by America. It is Nothing like the Anime promised her it would but like its fine

She still drags her boyfriend through the sights with her anyway

also she like totally brought her cosplay with her

i mean its not every day u get a foreign country for a cosplay backdrop

and also also of course she makes her bf cosplay w/ her?? i mean. its not every day that-

they cosplay fucking hetalia characters together. how cute. since her bf is american he gets to cosplay aph america, free of charge. hes so thrilled.

she switches cosplays like. 8 times. x ukraine, x belarus, x monaco, x france - all the aph america ships u could dream of. needs that sweet sweet content, after all. 

her bf cant complain too much tho bc at least hes getting attention. yummy sweet attention. 

Aoi

aoi loves eating exotic foods!!! so shes pretty Hype about this trip

esp. especi- especially the donuts. yummmmm.

she Basically makes her bf go to the ocean or the biggest pool within driving distance. 

cue cute underwater kiss moment, along with some good old fashioned fanservice aoi is Not a stranger to

the whole way to the far away swimming place aoi is making him stop for donuts along the way 

shes doing the worst american accent you have ever heard like, the whole time

super down for a roadtrip bonding moment with her bf!!!

Chiaki

she brings like, her Whole collection of video games w/ her so that she and her bf can play them together

low key she kinda hype to kick his ass in person rather than on the phone

and!! video games and chill can turn into Video Games and Chill now !!! sick

she also, of course, helps him beat any games hes stuck on 

Chiaki, by the way, shows up Super Fucking Jetlagged (so she claims) and immediately jsut. naps on her bf on the way home. and then doesnt wake up/pretends to be asleep when he tries to wake her up to take her inside

she gets princess carried inside like the queen she is

fantastic cuddler like wow bro

but yeah in summary sleepy cuddles and video game!

Miu

miu does Not cope with the distance between her and her bf very well for a variety of reasons im going to spare u rn

so needless to say shes a little more than excited to finally see her boyfriend in person ;)

she hasnt even left home and shes already sent some pics, and more come to closer she gets to actually being w/ him

as soon as shes there shes pretty clingy. making up for the whole lost time thing, you know?

she practically attaches to his arm and wont let go. bathroom be damned! she wants boyfriend time!

and boyfriend time she gets! a lot of it! her boyfriend is of course super down for it bc i mean. crazy hot girl thats there for only a few days? of course hes gonna put aside some of her quirks?? also he loves her n stuff

-mod kaede

[kaisooficrec]

Hello admins!!!! I love this blog so much omg, thanks for all the hard work you do! 😍 I was wondering if there were any new stripper or daddy fics! Thanks so much! 💞💞

Uwu you’re welcome love

😍 we have a long list of daddy fics from 2018 so check it out! Stripper au has not been done since 2016 so here’s a batch of new and newest fics:

Night and Day - pure classic :) kyungsoo and his friends just hang out at a gentleman’s club and kyungsoo is casually given the best lap dance by a cute boy named kai

Push the Pedal Down - at1stsoo is always the goat :) kaisoo on an adventure au and going yolo! this is a perfect summer read and both kaisoo are very charismatic ~

landfall - stripper!kai + office worker!soo are attracted to each other after a few random encounters (coppertears is the best!!)

give me all your sugar, baby - has sugar daddy too! ksoo is a wealthy businessman stuck in the middle of nowhere so he goes to the bar nearby to kill the time and is seduced by pole dancer kai

hit me and we’re going hard - strippers couple onstage and offstage too (slight!bondage)

bad boy - dancer/stripper kai likes to spin around the pole and flaunt himself and everything gets better whne he meets kyungsoo :)) reverse size kink, 69, face sitting LAWD

Two Sugars - screams in obsessed!! chaptered ongoing, sO good omg kyungsoo works a an editor for a fashion spread and he visits a coffee shop every day for this cute cute handsome barista (jongin). jongin is not only sweet but also..spicy :p (kinks overload bless)

operation : the strip club - jongin is a detective and kyungsoo is a stripper (genderbend, soo is a girl) 

I Don’t Mind - the sexual tension is si palpable here. very shy and beautiful jongin is smitten with his boyfriend but has has some secret about his work. kyungsoo is so sexy, strong here dayum also their relationship is admirable *heart eyes* slow smut, lapdance, blindfold

2AM - non au. dry humping, jongin stripping for kyungsoo and fukc i need more (no smut)

Sunshine - stripper au, jongin gives kyungsoo a private lapdance, no strings attached, pure filth :–))

Mad Love - just stripper Jongin and Mafia boss Kyungsoo pwp with plot :)

Nothing Simple About - Kyungsoo is just your average, friendly neighborhood stripper who only likes hands in his pants if there’s dollar bills crinkled inbetween. Jongin is just his regular patron who generously complies only 1 chapter out, been inactive since january)

Pumped Up Kinks - Chanyeol gifted Kyungsoo a night at a gay strip club for his 21st birthday as a surprise. he also have them enrolled in sex-ed classes :)

The Velvet - jongin is ogling at the amazing dancer (stripper) when a moment before he was grumpy sehun dragged him to a strip club (not updated since 2016 tho :(

A Shot at Love - single dad soo visits a strip club on his b-day and just falls in love :)) top!jongin

white stork, white christmas - not a stripper au, just stripping involved :D established rls, kd giving the good good as the x-mas gift 

Pool Me Hard! - What Kyungsoo didn’t expect is that a little friendly game of pool table would come to this (strip games)

Have fun!! - Admin J

[ohifonlyx33]

TODAY’S MOOD IS...

that moment the elevator is stopped

when the music gets all soft and twinkly and you jsut KNOW

dad turning to his son, fixing his jacket and encouraging him

when the elevator open and the brightness and greenery is everywhere

the EXACTLY PERFECT panoramic and overhead camera angles that i basically DREAMED ABOUT

Coulson lowkey being the proudest father ever as he officiates.....

....in an impossible forest generated by Deke’s fears

Mack filming every single second (for Yo-Yo, for himself, for us, for future Fitz)

the girls getting Jemma ready

that heart stopping moment she turns and Fitz sees her and JUSTasfhdsjka

WOW... YOU LOOK STUNNING.

Jemma’s dress being gorgeous and her hair too

relief that Fitz was wearing pants

(and not a kilt, as the writer’s cheekily pointed out) 

when everybody affirms the need for them to get married with a heart AYE

the unblinking blue in Fitz’s heart-eyes

the tears pooling in Jemma’s

the nervous little laughs of wonderment   

“dielectric polarization”

YOU WOULD BE MY LIFE!!!!!!

MY HEART!!!!!

MY HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM WEAK HERE SO WEAK. 

catch me wiping away tears like Daisy

jemma no, working for shield hasn’t been an adventure... 

it’s been traumatic

bUILDING a what now???? wow 

i can’t believe jemma brought up kids in her vows what a power move

actually that seems like a jemma-thing to do. i can believe it.

“Words don’t really..... seem enough” AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, and I cannot emphasize enough AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He Took Her Hands To Find Courage Before He Spoke And I Think That’s Beautiful

she knows she’s not perfect fitz but it’s sweet that you think so

you know by now you’ve really proven you are worthy, fitz

she looks sad that he doesn’t think he deserves her :( :( :(

seriously? “luckiest man on any planet” is he lowkey bragging rn?

the REALIZATION that hits him when they exchange rings

“............I THEE WED”

that little pause??? he has to catch up to his heartbeat!

Deke being confirmed as a Fitzsimmons!! 

ACTUAL LIVING proof of their UNDYING AND ETERNAL love! 

the kiss! IT’S THE HAPPIEST KISS! ITS SO FULL OF PROMISE AND HOPE AND LOVE AND JOY DON’T TOUCH ME ITS SO PRECIOUS!!!

everyone clapping and Mack sneaking in with his camera and clapping Fitz on the back

THE MUSIC AT THE END MAKING YOUR LIFE COMPLETE  THX BEAR MCCREARY

this WHOLE episode being a LOVE LETTER to the FANS.

none of this “half-the season being undone to Fitz after the finale” nonsense, we live in denial like true fans.

[i-dont-want-to-forget-this]

hi i just wanted to talk

i dont really have any sort of direction or reason that i wanted to talk but its 9:30pm and im alone and im in a typey mood and i dont want to just watch more how i met your mother. (im on episode like 17 i was on like 2 this morning thats so embarrassing.) anyways. i should probably watch a disney movie to help fuel the reigniting fire inside of me, but idk it just hasnt happened yet. oh im waking up at like 6am tomorrow morning rip me amiright or amiright. obviously relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. theyre hard. honestly, i know that once one of radk starts dating someone im going to feel the need to be a know it all (WHICH IS SO ANNOYING SUCH A BIG FLAW I HAVE) and be like ok but dont believe all the sweet things they say because boys lie!!!!!!!!! which is true. lets be honest here they do. they say very very sweet things to win over your heart because they want you and they know that saying those things will make you swoon. and it sucks because it will work and youll believe what theyre saying, hell, they may believe what theyre saying at the time but surprise things change sometimes. and thats ok. the world is constantly changing. it jsut reallt really really really sucks when soemthing you thought could be a constant is not. FOR EXAMPLE:::::

1. “camille, listening to you is infinitely more important than this right now,”

which, in his defense, wasn’t a lie. he said right now. but thats not the point the point is that i could have sworn phil laplante would listen to everything. every complaint every hope every dream every belief everything. but we are about to hit 4 months (oh my gosh only 4 months) and i cannot tell you the last time i truly felt listened to by him. which hurts my heart does not hurt my heart as much as:

2. “i love you my dearest, kaibigan, unconditionally.”

i just literally dont believe you. i dont. and heres the thing. tears shed over phil suck/ed. ok. theuy stunk before im sure theyll stink in the future, and it hurts and it sucks but OH ME OH MY IT IS NOTHING. NOTHING IN COMPARISON. TO THE PAIN INFLICTED ON MY BY ONE OF THE LOVES OF MY LIFE. i feel like shes not even mine anymore. is this a dramatized version of camille speaking? probably, but she deserves to have a say too. and it sucks. so much. to feel like youre all alone because the one person you swore would love you no matter hwat you did or what you coujld do would still love you just kind of stops becasue she finds new firends to become obsessed with this sucks because i used to be that new friend. she used to be obsessed with me and thar hurts likea  mother tucker. i think ive developed shades of trust isseus. maybe. id ont really know i jus tknow that it sucks SO MUCH to think of my two favorite people on the planet both being uninterested in me wow that hurts a lot. and it makes me sad to think that i could be someones favorite person on the planet and i ditched them im sorry i dont wantt o make you feel that way but i feel as though i ahve and i am so sorry. THERE IS SO MUCH HURT IN THE WORLD AND THAT SUCKS ASS. A LOT. LIKE A LOT OF ASS. But there are also some beautiful things in the world. things like music. i love music. things like stories. stories are so fascinating. there is constantly something happening on earyh and there is a select few numbers of people who will experience it. 

im rediscovering myself. i lost her somewhere. somewhere in the mix of the kissing and the new bralettes and the frozen fruit snacks and the engieneers and the design projects i left her somewhere. shes out there. or maybe shes in here, tucked away behind a familiar smell. or maybe a new smell. i dont know what she likes. i dont know how to coax her out of me. shes made some appearances, for example when i was scrolling through instagram after that himym episode and it was earthyandy showing off some of her vegan ice cream with 10,000 emerald pools playing it jsut reminded me of humans existing and it was beautiful. and there are shades of her still in me writing this todaybut she doesnt overflow me anymore. which is ok. id rather have her be a little hidden than be garbanzo.

things that hurt:

thinking about the honeymoon phase.

and i know that this is like with God, am i in it for the reward or am i in it for Him? (ive come to discover im still very much in it for the reward i think. i am not the best. but im working on it. am ia ctually working on it. or do i just say that and ignore it. id ont know but i cant afford to put myself through the hurt of telling myself that im doing nothing.) 

but God, like actually God, I miss it.

i miss the romance. i miss feeling like i was floating, like the world was saturated, and my face was hot and things were sweaty in the best way. i miss feeling like i was flying, and like nothing had and ever would hurt me (sidenote, things did hurt.) i miss 

i miss still being pure

thats a rip

i am weak

but its in the past

i dont know if ive actually forgiven myself for that one yet

i feel less disgusting and more loveable than i did previously, which is good.

maybe im not ready fora  relationship.

but when will i be

i need to learn somehow

has phil been perfect?

no!

no he hasnt!!

today he told me “im going to stop replying for a while, dont get offended.”

which.

1. sucks. or well, is odd.

if he had opened and left me on read i wouldnt even flinch

if he just sent back a smiley face id be like lmao, probably send back a bitmoji

but he told me it was going to happen. which is just so weird.

2. i feel like im more offended that he told me to not get offended. dont tell me what to do. which, ok, i realize could be crazy, he jsut doesnt want to hurt my feelings but believe it or not phil its a little late for that its happened and im ok im fine ive forgiven it. i think. maybe. i just want to be there for you and with you and actually scratch that i want you to want me to be there for you and with you. i just dont feel very wanted by you sometimes which, weve discussed before i know that you know that youre not affectionate. or at least not when were in real life and not honeymooning (sidenote i feel like our honeymooning phase was shorter than others were and i find that unfair but whatever.) i signed up for htis. im consciously dating someone that is distant. am i okay with that? i dont want to jsut date boys to feel like im flying though i want us to 

i dont know

i was going to say be a team

but thats what phil says

and i dont want to let him pick these words for me

remember when i wrote that poem about chaos

and how i felt like i was in a storm and i dont know what to hold onto and i was like oh jk i want to hold onto you

yeah

me too

i think im there sitll

and like you said

the storm is inside your brain

and i want to be able to be the one to calm it

but maybe thats not my job

mabye thats a different persons job

maybe it is j=my job but its my job for later

maybe its your job

i dont know

but the idea of youd ating someone else really sucks

like a lot

liek a lot a lot

because i know

i know what the hunt is like now

i can imagine 

all of our friends

sitting somehwre, id ont know

and all the boys are checking out the hot girls around

and maybe im just old fashioned

maybe im still naive

maybe i am still just a noob

but that sucks so much

i dont want to be replaceable with a deli girl

or with ffg

not that theyre bad or anyhting but its the princile of it

that when im gone you jsut go back to sitting in the purple chairs at storms planning how to talk to the next girl

WOW THAT SUCKS

A LOT

THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS FOR GIRLS

And mayb ethats the point

actually i tak that back

im sure thats how it isf or some girls

but phil im not just some girl

phil im the girl that made lauryn hurley feel loved

im the girl that helped bring radk together

im the girl that blew ms crsit away

im the girl that used to look down in the damn hallway but looked up because she liked a boy

i didnt look up because i wanted to see a hot rack with blue eyes and a nice ass

i looked up because i wanted to be noticed

and intriguing

and wanted

and i jsut dont really feel like any of those things by you sometimes

and that hurts a lot

what is the point of this

this just sounds like i dont want to date him anymore

but i do

do i or do i jsut not want change

i do

i think

id ont know

but camille

right now you get the best of both worlds

you get to date him

who is goofy

and smells really good

and is strong

and is hungry for God 

and is grateful

and is

well

i was going to say a good listener

sometimes

but there is so much space between you two becaues this is a time for you

no one but you, camille

you can grow

this is a summer of self improvement.

you lost yourself somewhere and tou dont need anyone to help you find her

thats a lie

who i am is reflected onto me by those around me

but still

i dont need him.

i dont want to need anyone yet

i am young

im still finding out what i want

im still discovering myself

dear God,

i cant do this without you

youre the only one who will love me and satisfy me

“the human world, it’s a mess”

youre right

but thats knida the point

we feel things

we hurt

we love

we lvie

we cry

we laugh

we do all these things

and feel what we think is great

but then when we get to feel you, oh lord, we are blown away.

you are so much greater 

and i am not worthy, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed

im sorry

im sorry for disappearing

and i honestly cant see myself running back soon

which sucks

and i dont know how to fix it

i think i hurt a lot

which is so backwards

but im doing what they say normal people do

am i normal though

no

i literally jsut said im not

God i need you

help me find you

i bet you know how to find me.

[moonchildstyles]

Can we pleaseeee talk about gravity h and yn hanging out this summer?? I feel like she'd bring him to a pool party with her friends and he would be all shy and cute and stick with her the whole time and all her friends would just be so obsessed with him after seeing them together

OMG STOP:(((((((((((( obsessed w the idea of him like officially going to a party w her and shes in her cute swimsuit w her pretty cover up and I can see h in his honey shirt and like some blue trunks:( and like hes all shy bc he jsut...he still doesn't do stuff like this and its making him nervous but y/n is so encouraging reminding him that she'll be right there the whole time and if its bad they can def go home like no worries at all!!! and when they get there its y/ns friends and some sorority girls shes friends w and these frat dudes that he recognizes from class and the halloween party and ppl are drinking and the music isn't too loud bc its still light out and h is just....right there following her around while she talks to her friends and shes so sweet like introducing him to everyone and dancing w him and h is just being sweet trying to make it in w her friends and like hanging out w some of the guys when they come by and talk and hes just a being a cutie but never too far from y/n bc shes his safe place:( also I think they'd go home and smash bc he loves how she looks in her bikini :(

[shutupweasley]

Update~

Spent two of the best fucking weeks of my life in Japan

Met up with family and friends

My family is literally the BEST family ever and I love everyone so goddamn much? My cousins - I only have two - are perfect and hilarious and so sweet??? MY BOY COUSIN is v similar to me in personality and he’s not doing well at school so my aunt was like, Layla, ur a teacher, help him and my advice was “dude just as long as ur happy” she was so “!!! NO !!! DONT TEACH HIM THAT!! HE IS HAPPY AND RELAXES ENOUGH AS IT IS” i laughed so hard, but I also told him that if ya wanna go live and work in Australia or Hawaii and surf and dance to Bruno Mars all day, ya gots to get into a good university so suck it up and work hard now and party later. mY GIRL COUSIN is a hardworking13 yo and she is PRECIOUS AF like your typical adorable Japanese teenage girl and she is so SWEET and DAMN ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT EVERYTHING and when I said I wanted to try and come back in December she got so excited and as I was leaving she was like “OK SO I’LL SEE U IN DECEMBER” aejkfeawjf. also she loves kpop and she won tix to a shinee concert and i dont even like shinee but when my aunt suggested that i chaperone her to the concert she got SO EXCITED again but like the concert is in april and that means i’ll have to buy tix to japan and korea lmao im broke girl, sorry love xoxo. MY AUNT is amazing and cooks so WELL and she is so NICE and cONSIDERATE and was like “if anything ever happens in australia or u wanna leave home ur always welcome here, just teach the kids english and i will provide food and a bed for you” IM FUCKIN BLESST SO MUCH god dang i miss everyone already. also my UNCLE is too much like my dad and he is so funny and chill af but works insane hours, but he is legit exactly like his bro/my dad and it’s so funny tbhhh~~

i dont have a job atm lmaooo i work one shift a week down at my pool and other days when i get called, i teach, but i dont have a fulltime job but EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON IN MY YEAR has a fulltime teaching gig hahahahhahaha :-) fuck my life lmao 

REGARDLESS, im pumped to apply for the jet program this yr, learn more japanese, and hopefully this time next yr i’ll know if i’ll be teaching in japan <3 <3 <3 fingers crossed, bc so many ppl i’ve spoken to LOVE it and are having amazing times with their classes and all i want in my life is to teach in japan bc japanese kids actually wanna fucking learn and they, get this, lol, respect their teachers?~?!?!??! wtf, never heard of that before in straya lmfao right , wild stuff, 

i have a gf and she’s pretty coool, and amazing and sweet and she cross-stitched me a lil ‘lumos’ ssign thing bc i have lumos tattooed on my wrist, and we just spent like 3 days together bc my parents are still in japan ~ like it’s still v new but she’s great so <3 <3 

legit the only reason why i’d want a steady teaching job now is so that i’ll have money when i go to japan ajhefjewafbhjwa fuck i jsut need to be there rn and move there immediately lol